# iced;

Thursday, December 15, 2005

torn into pieces, 4:10 PM

alas, I'm home..
Ya Allah kepala nie macam nak pecah..
with only 3 hrs of sleep in the hospital..
and tak pernah aku tidur dengan jeans, belt, tudung, contact lens, socks and with no blanket..
but, I am doing this for you dear aunt..
therefore, you must promise me you will be strong and fight this illness invading you..
last night, she couldn't sleep because she kept coughing..
so, I told the nurse about it who promise to page the doctor to inform..
we waited for so long.. he didn't came..
Not knowing who to vent to, I sms my sis..
Of all the things she could reply.. "Kau tekan tu button sampai doc datang. Kalau tak kau ketok pintu doc sampai dia bukak..." heheh..
It made me smile after so much tension I had for ermm the whole week..

this morning, I bathed her..
I am so sad when I look at her..
I was very close to tears but, I hold it damn tight..
"dammit you can't cry" I told myself..
the healthy body is no longer seen..
the nurse manager asked me if I could manage her myself in the toilet..
I didn't want anyone to bathe her.. in particular, to see her.. it's the batasan aurat that I'm concern.. and I didn't want the nurses to be rough to her..
I rather do it myself..
so, I told her.. "yeah.. I'll be fine.. I will call if I needed any help.." but deep down, I'm unsure but then again lantaklah just do it.. that's my common verse..

this morning, on the way to surau, it was so dark..
my cuzzin and I still need to make our way to that dark lane..
we need to solat Subuh..
but before that, I called Muhammad Izzad Rahim for subuh..
dalam kemarahan, kita call awak jugak tau.. :)
sebab, kita taknak awak kena marah lagi..
that's it for now..
I need to get some sleep..
Cha, kita oncall lagilah malam nie.. heheh...
you know, after all... it's an exciting experience but a ermm.. my relatives are looking upon me to take a good care of her.. in which, it's a big responsibility for me..
and hey people, I am only a nursing student..
I'll do my best..
Love you, Izzad *wink*
Thank you for the meaningful conversation..

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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