# iced;

Sunday, January 15, 2006

torn into pieces, 8:18 PM

aunt have passed away..
its already a week now..
her death news was advertised in yesterday papers..
personally, I am trying to get over it..
you know, lately, I kept thinking of JB although I have supportive people around me here and with work piling up, I should think less..
see how words can get on me...? heh..

I could recall her last sick, yellow, worried looking eyes telling me to be gentle..
my last shivering goodbye kiss for her..
I remember her last messenges for me when I sent her for chemotherapy..
One of which is "Belajar rajin2.. Jangan hampakan diri sendiri and your parents.."
Insya'allah..
till today, I still cannot believe that she have left us..

when I look back into things, I have not done much for her..
I strongly feel so..
and I feel like going to JB during CNY..
if that's possible..
nak kena langkah first wire dulu.. you know lah kan, its not easy talking to mum about sleeping in other people's house..
before we left for the tahlil that night, my uncle told me "If you are free and wish to stay here during the CNY, datanglah.. Cik Ahmad cuma takut pasal Noor Ulya.. if she can't cope with the departure.."
Normally, when they invited me over, I would said "Insya'allah" and let the words passed by me like I said its not easy talking to mum about it and I am tied up with work here..
however, this time, its hard to resist..
my Insya'allah is fruitful this time.. heh..

when I'm alone, images after images of all kinds of event pertaining to almarhummah formed in this thick skull.. precentral gyrus? postcentral gyrus?
I don't know how to describe it.. I'm just sad.. yeah..
this is not a year I wish to start with.. really..
but, I take all this as a challenge in life..
because of all these, I've started to think positively which I have never done ever in my life I guess..
and I didn't burden Izzad with all this sadness and misery in me..
so, start appreciating you gorgeous thing.. :)
I need to look at the sea..
this is what I do when I am entangled..

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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