# iced;

Sunday, January 01, 2006

torn into pieces, 10:10 AM

I was thinking of a thousand lines or a word with thousand meanings..
just get this started..

I hope I didn't wake up today..
what was said to me were lightnings strike at my cerebrum right up to the spinal cord..
the damage is deep..
it was too close to 30th..
who cares anyway..
I was surprised but, I somehow expected it..
I didn't expect it for long but, just an overnight expectation..
haizz..
I know that God is testing me..
and when He does, it means He loves me..
after all these mess, I believed that I still have faith in God..
I didn't want to cry this time at least not for so long..
so, see me strong..
nevertheless, I didn't want to ruin my life and mixed up my judgements for a simple remark..
whoever it may come from..
as long as I know what I am doing, I set it right away..
we knew the differences and weaknesses between us..
we had identify the evens and odds..
we had alot of stages just to know each other..
It wasn't easy..
It really isn't.. this, I musn't lie..
Success don't come in a snap..
It is either you lie, cheat, work hard, scream, shout, get yourself stress or lay back to see what faith have decide for you..
To end it, is traumatizing and hurtful..
however, remark doesn't come from someone from the streets..
I have to put that under consideration..
it came from someone important..
very important indeed..
because of that I have no will to be furious..
you're an eye opener..
I understand that you want the best and I may not be..
you just want some careful..

I have just finished a book..
second chance is the title..
life in there is similar..
however, I can't compare my life to a book..
it doesn't sounds right..

for a moment, I shouldn't have indulge..
I was doing fine without it..
I remembered what Janna told me..
It's still fresh to the eardrums..
not, to worry this is the path I've chosen I will not regret..
bear in mind, to do and undo is traumatizing..

hey love, I may not be the best..
we may be different..
you like the guitar, I like the books..
so, what brings in the problems..??
opposite poles attracts..
kan merepek2 yang keluar..
compromise and adjustment are my strong words..
but, you are comfortable..
very comfortable..
it's not the year I wish to start with..
if that pleases anyone, I'll do it..
don't held expectations too high..
let us reflect the things we have done together..

so people, stop saying that I am stupid..
because, I already feel like one..
this is risk taking..

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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