# iced;

Monday, January 02, 2006

torn into pieces, 7:58 PM

alhamdulilah..
everything went fine today..
mungkin ramai yang mendoakan..

dear aunt was brought to JB this morning..
it was a fast, overnight decision..
uncle were panicked last night..
I was shocked when he came and ask me what he should do..
for a moment, I felt important.. heh..
there goes the 2 families helping one another to prepare for today..
reminding each other not to forget things..
hairclips, brooches, tudung, perfumes, jeans, medication, medical documents, passports etc..

the ambulance came at 9am..
I met an old pal, Del..
didn't know that the ambulance that we called was from his dad's company..
what a coincidence..
mum started crying..
people who wanted to see dear aunt before she left for JB came early..
all started crying..
mum was histerical..
I could no longer hide my tears..
it was a departure that we will never know if we will meet again after she have shown the signs and symptoms..
aunt was restless.. she have been like that for the past few days..

initially, they only allowed 2 people in the ambulance.. Aishah and me..
upon seeing mum crying, they allowed her in..
it's not easy having her in the ambulance..
I am so stress with her around..
whenever, aunt cramped her face, she gets worried.. telling her to zikir and istighfar..
I was told profusely to whisper to her ears some zikir even when I am doing it..
see how frustrating it can be..
Del was whispering to me "I know how you feel. Relax ok." He smiled..
sampai terbalik aku dalam ambulance tu bukan layan aunty aku layankan mak aku..
we put up the sirens..
aunt couldn't stand the long journey.. luckily causeway was clear..
sorry Del.. I ended up leaning to you..
mum didn't even help me up each time I slid forward or I hit the rails.. ish..
she is more concern about something else..
one thing is, I started crying again in the ambulance..
suddenly, I feel so sad to be apart..

before we left, people started crying..
so, it was my turn to kiss, hug and say goodbye..
I didn't move an inch.. I was scared..
my uncle said "Just kiss her.. Its okey.."
I did and whisper to her "take care and I love you.."
before I let go, she hug me because she needed support to turn..
but, I take that she embraced me too..

as much as I am trying hard to stay strong over the tests that God have given me, I hope you stay strong too, aunt Zaharah.. because you are.. you are my iron lady..
and I love you just the way you are..

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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