i wish situation were a little different..
i don't get it why i have to be responsible for someone else's actions??
kalau dia nak jahanam ke..
pergi mampuslah..
why shed tears for someone else's mistakes..???
this is so unfair!!!
and i'm doing these for your own good..
someday, when you realised your mistakes and regret, come and thank me..
after all the loads that you have occupied my mind now..
and the tears you made me shed..

having said that, Izzad is so far..
with co-current situation, i so needed his support..
afterall, you are my pillar of strength.. my emotional support system..
it's so difficult to even think straight without listening to you..
and i am freaking serious!!!
perhaps, i was emotional..

just like last night, i had so much to tell you when you called..
however, after hearing your voice..
my worries and frustration were all gone..
when truth is, i wanted to share with you how i feel abt stuff..
don't know where all of them went to..
im praying hard that your guard duty isn't on Friday..
so, you could go home.. safe and sound..
plus, to catch up with your friends..
but, if guard duty is for you on Fri, get it over and done with..

it's already a month since he joined the army..
i remembered the very first time i seen him in No. 4..
had to wait for hours in pasir ris for him to booked out..
si pantat lecturer tu habis class siang pulak tu..
luckily the exams was just the following week..
so, i took the opportunity to start revising..
it wasn't so bad..
it took me awhile to identify which was him..
they all look the same to me..
i had to stand back and take a good look at him..
the first thing that came out was.. "awk dah kurus sikit eh..?" ehehhe..

soon, he will be out on field camp..
time result aku pulak tu.. nvm..
it always make me feel better when i wish to think that all these are test from God..
i hope bmt is not driving you nuts..
just to let you know, you are in your 2nd mth of bmt..
it will be over w/o you realising..
please take care of the rifle..
i don't care if it have become your second gf..
even if you are sleeping with it..

hey, you know i don't really want ppl to know this..
but, you know, at my current situation..
i can't help it..
I MISS YOU, IZZAD RAHIM...
not to worry you will always be in my prayers... everytime...