# iced;

Monday, September 03, 2007

torn into pieces, 12:47 PM

im putting up this skin only for the time being..
i very much love the previous skin which im not too sure what happened to it..
mentioning about Love, sometimes, when you love someone just too much, you just have to let it go..

ive been doing alot of thinking lately..
the things that ive done, not done, simply lazy to do and not knowing what to do..
and something i have missed doing..

the way ive been treating people around me because of my tempers..
may it be my family, friends, patients or Izzad or even to myself..

im very speechless..

the last thing i ever want or never want to see is, the failure in this relationship and my career..
these just means very much to me..
even when i get so stress up at work, i still love what im doing..
even when we had a hard time together, i still love him like ive always do..
something that i believe in is, God have reasons to bring us back again..
God have reasons to put me in this nursing path..
when the truth is, i never picked nursing and i never picked Izzad too..
something that i seen in him in the past is, he had that spirit in him that i admire..
he have inspired me during school days..
i never imgaine we could be together when we never ever talk in school..
when i dont even care if he walked passed my class..
to me, he is just a person next door..
who would have thought, this is how far we have went..
when in the past, he was the one who attentively listen to my stories and problems till late night..
and i ever watched him with his previous girlfriends..
i even listened to a friend who admired him too much..
who would have thought this is how things have become..

and i just dont know..

ive learnt from this relationship..
to see this coming to an end is painful..

sometimes, when i just lay in bed all day, i just want to shake myself..
look into the mirror..
and say 'come on zalifa! you can do this. you got to stand up again. you have to do something. you have a future to run for. where is that ambitious attitude you always carry around. where is that dynamic person that never make you stop thinking for solutions. and where the hell is that im never going to give up easily?? stop crying. start eating. you've got to assist in surgeries. you've got theatre 6 to run now that angie's on leave. prof cannot function without you.'
well, sure he cant.. heh..

im cutting some slack..
give me a break..

just last week, i weigh 40kilos..
now, im back to 38.6
stress does not only brings me down, it brings my weight down too.. haizz

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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