# iced;

Sunday, September 30, 2007

torn into pieces, 10:21 PM

tomorrow, i'll be meeting my fav Professor and his fellow who never fail to wink his eyes at me during surgery. so gatal. or perhaps, he wants me to calm down. if thats the case, then thats good. sometimes, i wonder why Sister likes putting me in the theatre where Prof's cases is on the list. working with him a few times have made me feel that i am his private scrub nurse. since Prof is a Cardio Thoracic Vascular Surgery expert, he does cardiac and vascular surgeries. in dsot, he only does vascular surgeries of course. he cant be doing cardiac cases here. nevertheless, ive always wanted to assist an open heart surgery one day. even if its for just 1 time. i always wanted to see how a heart looked like. is it true that its a shape of a fist? can i see that its pumping? the fact that he is a cardiac surgeon too have made me feel like alamak muka dia lagi! ive seen hmm.. vas deference, sperms under that microscope, how they do cicumcision. most of them is man stuff la. but my best encounter so far is.. ive seen a face lift. its a plastic surgery. in case anyone who read this want to go for a facelift, here is a good guide. but of course as a Muslim, im not encouraging this. first, they will cut a thin layer of the face skin. and when they lift up the skin, the surgical team will see your skull underneath. ive always look forward for that part. hehe. and they will pull up the skin from the side of the face and stitch. one thing surgeons are always paranoid is that they are always afraid that muka patient senget sebelah sebab takut terlebih atau terkurang tarik! but the after effect is fantastic. you can really see a tremendous difference.

back to heart, ive always find renal medicine and heart discipline are the 2 disciplines that i have interest in. the rest like respiratory discipline (yg org semput2), o&g (abortion, delivery stuff), oncology (cancer discipline), endocrine (liver and stuff) and orthopaedics (bone stuff) have never interest me. for instance, just look at o&g, do you think i like looking at the list when there are 5 to 7 termination of pregnancy on the list? and the way the surgeon does top is just attach the tubing to a sucker and just suck the product of conception (poc) without having much thoughts whether she might damage the uterus or ovary. all she care is that the poc is out. and i know a friend who does top during her younger days and that she is married for about 10 years now and she have difficulty conceiving. she very much want to get pregnant but, couldnt as one of her fallopian tube is damage. so to all the young girls or all the ladies who are not married or whoever who is thinking of abortion, think of the aftermath. the chances of not being able to get pregnant is high. so, i would say, please use a condom. heh.

have i ever mention that Sat is our suay day? since Tekong days until today. if i ever im going to get married with whoever, i will make Fri nikah. Sat off. Sun jemputan. heheh. kalau org tanya, sorry la Saturday kena off sebab ada suay sikit la. suay giler punye. as for Rad, she claimed that every 22 of each month is her suay date. mentioning about dates, 11 Sept is my damn suay date. suay arh.

please, dont destroy this burning spirit ive lost 3 weeks ago. its the one and only thing that keeps me running wild. just like we all need a heart to keep as alive. as for me, besides the heart, i also need this spirit to keep me going. so please allowed me to do this. a lesson learnt, never go on a relationship for too long. it breaks your heart. and im here picking up myself and the broken pieces simply because i treasure just whatever we shared. its just too meaningful.

gym + meditation = helpful =)

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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