# iced;

Thursday, November 08, 2007

torn into pieces, 3:59 PM

ok its about work now. i came up to my preceptor yesterday. i told her i want to be transferred to major ot. she was shocked. my drastic decision shocked everyone especially when i told them i wanted to be in Cardio theatre doing an open heart surgeries. yes! i want this. during school days, ive always wanted to see an open heart surgery. when i spoke to Izzad's uncle about his surgery, i enjoyed him telling me the whole process. and i think now that im back single again and ive got no commitment towards a significant other, im ready to do this.

cardio theatre as we all know is tough. its really tough. one coronary artery bypass graft (cabg) takes 6 hours long. if surgery starts at 8am sharp, your instruments are out by 7am. its a fast working pace. its stressful during surgery. there will be alot of machines. there will alot of blood transfusion. there will be alot of people. there will be IA lines, CVP and all that. there are alot to learn. are you ready, Ifa? =) i paused and swallowed hard. but, after much thinking, i want to do it. ive yet to discuss this with my mother because she is always the one whom i know for sure akan mendoakan for me everytime.

and a friend said, 'babe, go easy on yourself. you just went through a breakup.' i know. breakup is just breakup lah. he is an asshole. i will not let myself go crazy because of him. but this is different. this is my future. my career. and thats all that matters. in my eyes, he and his bitch have no future. so, i cant be like them. surprisingly, those who have become his gf before all have a prosperous future after the breakup. only when we are with him, kitorang bodoh macam dia.

back to cardio, besides hardwork, its good money. cardio trained will take turns to go on-call everyday. if something happen in the middle of the night that requires the patient to be pushed to the theatre immediately, there must be a cardio scrubbed nurse around. even that, im ready. im ready to study about cardiac and run the theatre at the same time. its not easy. we all know that but please i want this. i know i can do it. i believe i can do it. i can accept this challenge. Insya'allah.

when i look into my life. i was alittle down when i was posted to dsot. ive always love mot. but, today, i know the reason to Allah's decision for me. is that im about to go through a breakup. if im posted to mot, He knows i cannot cope with surgery and breakup. so, He send me to dsot first where the environment is less stressful.

but, now that everything is over and im more or less able to cope with life and things, im ready to accept a new challenge that is more worthwhile. and errmm. my mum told me, 'if you want to buy a car, you go to mot first.' and i really want to get my dream car. =)

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

stats counter

designer joy.deprived
fonts&brushes x x x
images x
image hosting x
software
Adobe Photoshop 7.0 & Macromedia Dreamweaver 8.0