# iced;

Thursday, November 01, 2007

torn into pieces, 1:01 PM

this entry is specially for someone who carry the name of Muhammad Izzad Rahim..

i didnt expect that someday i have to post this kind of entry over the net. and yes. its over. the 4 years of relationship crumbles just as he wanted and just as his mother wanted as well. she have been suggesting we should breakup since the day she sees as fighting everyday and kite dua tak bahagia kind of crap. dont try to deny my statement, Izzad. she have told me all that personally. and i am just dumb to try to salvage my relationship. i beg for mercy. i beg you for some happiness. i let my pride down because i wanted the relationship with you to stay very much. i have put in alot of effort in this relationship. and YOU, who crash it everytime. YOU, who breakup with me for 3 bloody times. YOU, whom to me bagai harimau tak akan tinggalkan belangnya. a bastard is always a bastard.

ive always thought that you are a BAIK person. well, everyone thought so. but, sadly, you are not. your baik is just superficial. and i will always remember you as someone who have hurt me very very much. a Bastard who left me for another girl. Izzad Rahim buat macam tu? tak percaya kan? but, when i take a look at your history, what's there to be surprise about. im glad that she have moved on after you cheated on her and i am going to be just like her too. move on and think that you are an asshole. a heartbreaker will always be a heartbreaker. the fact that you are staying near me makes me feel that i want to burn your house and your bike.

my tears today shows my signs of weakness. my hatred tomorrow shows my signs of moving on. my happiness someday, shows that i dont need a Bastard like you! karma does exist, my heartbreaker. what you did to me is what you will receive perhaps here perhaps in the after world. it may happen to you it may not and please remember, you have sisters after you. if anyone were to do the same thing to them, there is nothing should you be surprise about. im not cursing you nor your family. im just elaborating my facts that karma does exist. Allah Maha Adil. we dont need to tell Him what to do. Allah can make me cry today, i believe in Him that He have bigger plans for me. for sure He doesnt want me to stuck my whole life with someone who doesnt know what he wants in life. who are not committed. who's semangat is not more than 15 mins. for once, your statement makes sense. i wouldnt want to get married to you and have kids with you. and you file a divorce because you dont love me, you think we are not compatible and that you left me for another woman. and i cant help thinking, goodness, ive been having sex with a loser!

ive done all i can to salvage this relationship. you have not. you wanted us to breakup. and i have to be fair to myself.

honestly, i am not strong in facing a 4 years breakup. who is? maybe you. as my hatred for you lingers, it keep me strong and make me move on. nonetheless, im not going to hate you forever, i just need a little of this hatred to keep me going. when i know im all done with you, is that i stop hating you and im dating someone else. from then onwards, i know i have reach maqam redha.

i didnt go to work today. i didnt want to go out of focus at work. the nature of my job requires alot of attention and concentration. a person's life is on the table for goodness sake. my minor mistake can endanger a person life. if its you on the table, i wouldnt care. nevertheless, my heartbreaker, to me, awak dah takde. awak ibaratkan layang2 terbang. awak terbang tanpa tujuaan yang pasti. you dont meet my match anymore.

i apologise for my hurting words, my judgements and my swears. im imperfect. to you Izzad Rahim, i hope karma do happen to you. it will make you learn never to play around with people's love and semangat orang lain.

hey peeps, i will be shutting this blog. enjoy every bit of this page when it is still in front of you now. =)

Jazakallahu Khairan..

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

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