# iced;

Saturday, November 03, 2007

torn into pieces, 11:03 PM

when comes to night, the feeling sucks big time. Hasan is feeling the same way too right now. takpe eh Hasan, we can go through this in one piece. Insya'allah.

i was out with the girls. ive been going out a lot lately. i spent a lot too. heh. its ok. its a therapy. shopping is a therapy only if you have the money. hehe. although, my fav girls tried to distract me with all kinds of jokes and gossips, i know im physically there. im laughing together with them but, my mind is somewhere else. for instance, i kept thinking whether Izzad dah makan belum. when i wanted to get just anything, i usually will buy 2. always thinking. 1 for me and 1 for him. so when you see me taking a longer time deciding to buy chocolates. whisper to me and say, 'Izzad dont need to eat chocolates. dia overweight!'

i was at major operating theatre this morning to attend the ENT talk. met a few friends there. Valerie went, 'Ifa, you are so skinny.' i smiled. 'yes. ive lost weight. im stress.' she smiled. 'i know.' we smiled. rest assure im going to gain back all the weight that ive lost. he was suppose to be losing weight. definitely not me. basket!

if you are so desperate to find my replacement, pls lah find at least 10 times more better than me. if not, at least 5 times or 2 times better than me. when i look at you now, i dont know you anymore. for God sake, please tell your significant other to stop trying to explain2 things to me. and stop apologising me. it got me thinking. why would someone apologise repeatedly and try to justify herself if she wasnt in the wrong?? whatever you've got to explain, i dont wish to hear a thing. like what Hasan always tell me, once you plaster your heart, dont korek2 anymore. just take care of your gf lah. STOP bugging me. saying all that crap about wanting to help me to salvage my relationship. to me, you are confuse with the word help you are using. helping me or helping yourself?? it has 2 different meanings. you definitely do go to school right? otherwise, i rest my case on you.

i bought this really good book. its title reads, Why Men Love BITCHES. aha! im curious to know the reason too. should you ask what im really thinking right now is that, i hope he is DEAD. yes! dead. but, like it says. orang jahat selalu mati last. so he probably the last to die but, still, i hope he is dead lah. out of sight means out of mind.

despite the hatred that is still going strong, i still pray to Allah that He will always be with me. my hatred towards him is too strong that i dont even want him to share the same God as me. yes i know. Istighfar Ifa. Syukur to Allah that each time i have relapses where sometimes, i suddenly feel so down and that i wanted to call him, i remember Allah. i believe He will help me and not him! ok come on Ifa. go easy on that bastard.

a friend told me, its seems that we are at the weaker side. Ohho! listen up, if you are in my team, you are never the weak one. Zalifa's team is never weak. we may fail but, we never give up. so this negativity have to be erased. all must be strong. so you got to be strong too. =)

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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