# iced;

Saturday, April 12, 2008

torn into pieces, 6:53 PM

i have used half of my energy to stress out my points to a friend which leads to no avail. i leave it for the time being. no doubt ive not been enjoying working. i dont know why and dont ask. probably due to various reasons which i wont enclose here. i kept telling myself ive the bond to serve and i have to make myself happy in some ways, in any ways. it sucks when you have to do it on daily basis and you dont feel like to at the moment. escape is my best option for the time being. Sufi told me, 'Sister sekarang cari pasal sebab kan dah nak performance bonus.' but look, her carik pasal really makes me want to punch her. no kidding. thats why sometimes, i avoided her.

looking at the rate im going, i dont forsee myself in nursing for long. probably just 3 years and i switch career. Mardia, Yazid and i have our little plans. *wink* i guess this is one of my 'downs' in the career. and do you know that the difference between Mard's and my pay is 500 bucks!! how interesting. and even my younger sister is earning much more than me.. well, of course life is not about money alone. however, like what Janna and i discussed, money is what we need to keep us survive in this world. my colleagues and i will grumble whenever we see our paycheck. 'when are they going to increase our pay!' as for now, i am bersyukur with just everything that i own. im sure Allah swt have plans for me and the reasons He made my life this way.

met Janna and Shahid for lunch somewhere nearby. whenever i meet her, i dont have to worry why i felt this way or that way. hence, i need not explain it at all simply because she felt the same way too. it makes me feel great that i dont face or feel this way alone. i have someone to share with. we looked around at where we are and tell one another..
'i dont want to have someone like him for my bf'
'or even this.'
'i cant go out with someone who is sloppy and do not dress well.'
'i cant go out with fat man. i cant be with those who do not wear perfume.'
'i hate the get to know process because the excitment last overnight.'

oh my God!!

i looked at her and asked, 'Janna, do real, single, nice man really exist? because i cant find them. its either they are married or they are not compatible or they are financially unstable.'

to be honest, sometimes i feel that im more financially stable than man nowadays. whats becoming to this world...?

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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