# iced;

Sunday, June 01, 2008

torn into pieces, 4:21 PM

im badly rushing for time.

it amazed me how i can do this. ive been out alone. yes! it scares me whatever im up to at the moment. i had coffee alone. i ate lunch alone. i jogged alone. i shopped alone. i did my assignments alone. (of course lahh) im telling you.. lagi aman macam gini. no expectations and no hassle. soon, i will eat ayam penyet alone. im thinking about it now. haha.

i remember sharing my paranoids with a friend. i asked her, 'do you think i will ever get married someday?' 'do you think i will ever find the right one?' all these get her saying this, IIFFAAAA. PLSS STOPP IT!! and she said, 'i really hope you find someone soon.' guess, she's tired of my nonsense. haha.

im beginning to foresee myself becoming a nurse manager (macam faham), not married, staying in a condo, raising an adopted child, have lots of money (being single, you will always have money. i realised.), travelling every year and lastly, going for every medical mission!

the situation im in now. im very irritated with some men. remember Hasan..? you used to tell me your desires for woman varnished at some point. i am going through the exact same thing. but, mine is for the man. im not bragging this. lately, i just learnt about this new website. well, i entered the website for the music. i wasnt aware that you can chat with people while you're logged in. since then, i got to know a few people from all over. it was a pleasant experience. now, im regretting i agreed to exchange numbers with some people. because out of some, two turned out to be a stalker! shit! i should have fake my number.

how do you judge this situation. he claimed he like me and is willing to wait even if its 5 years down the road. we never talk. we never meet (im not interested btw). i dont even save his number. hell, i dont even know his name. i dont even know what he is doing for a living and i dont even blardy care! i didnt pickup his calls and i replied to only some of his messages. there are more to me than those pictures seen of course. to sum up, i told him he is sick.

know what is the biggest joke of all. to compare between a beauty paegent and me, he is willing to wait for me.. that is so sweet of him and i am honoured but, never waste the time. go for that beauty paegent. but, even in 5 years down the road. i may or may not be ready for a soulmate. love and man just hurts and it will always hurt.

because, this heart is very occupied by an amazing stranger. he is always and will always be amazing. no others. i wont be waiting for him though. i am not the sort that will wait for love. unspoken. unkown. sealed.

another criteria in a man. must be able to sing like David Cook. =)

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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