# iced;

Saturday, May 17, 2008

torn into pieces, 4:46 PM

im going to quote JK Lim now. hehe. IM SUCH AN IDIOT. im going to quote Andrew Dutton too. THIS IS KILLING ME. im going to quote my 'favourite' Peter Robless. OH! COME ON.

exactly how im feeling right now. call me the dumb. i do not care what people got to say. im stubborn. i know i did not listen to people's advice. well, i thought the situation is better now but, some things can never change. hence, it will never ever be. just like how we know Dajjal will appear diakhir zaman and no one can ever change that. apa pulak aku berbual pasal dajjal semua ni. sorry im a little disorganise.

some things people said just turn you off completely. sometimes, its useless to care or to be good. thus, i rather be mean. the idiot part about me is, whenever im mean to someone, i feel guilty. this reflect very much on how i used to fight with Mardia during school days and i turned to Sarah and said, 'i feel bad i said and did that.' thats me. probably, thats the reason why almost everyone been telling me, 'DONT LOOK BACK! If you do, no one can help you anymore.' well, being me, i made a silent turn back. damn! yeah dammit! you're right you know. i shouldnt bother. despite the lectures ive been getting, they still said, 'its okey. mistakes are unavoidable.'
you know i dont want to make the same mistake and the only difference of its occurence is the year it happened. it sucks. i hasnt used the f word for long. and i not proud to use it yesterday.

nevertheless, im thankful to my dear friends. they never fail to pull me back to my senses. you guys are superb. thank you Winny, for letting me see things in a perspective im blinded. to another friend who is willing to wake up at any time in the night if i feel lousy and i needed to talk.

hey, Winny, you're doing great in consoling me by telling me that God will always be with me irregardless and He have better plans for me. the fact that you're a free thinker and you are doing this for me, i appreciate you every single bit. =)

a friend had a hot date last night. well, when i see her get dressed, i laugh. she is so paranoid. hahaa. she kept asking me if her outfit is alright. is her hair ok. oh my God! she needs to get sweets and hand lotion after that. i cant help it but to laugh at how nervous she was. well, its insane how a girl want to be seen when i think if im going out on a date, i will wear slippers and jeans and my crumpler. i dont bother with skirts, dress and heels and all that. i like the feeling of rugged. rugged is a must in a man. man in sneakers, jeans and shades with crumpler turns me on. not man in suit and briefcase!!

i was teasing her when Sister walked in. i told her that she is going on a hot date. =P well, of course she joined me in teasing her. suddenly she stopped teasing and turn to me saying i think you should start dating. go and find someone from the internet and go on a blind date. i had my jaws dropped. my nurse manager saying all these. heheh. see, im telling you they know my single status. =) hey, she is encouraging blind dates. ahaha. then, i should go on dates with her doctors! hhehe.

i had a heartwrecking conversation with a friend just moments ago.. she said this that shut my system completely. 'has it always been him, ifa....?

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

stats counter

designer joy.deprived
fonts&brushes x x x
images x
image hosting x
software
Adobe Photoshop 7.0 & Macromedia Dreamweaver 8.0