# iced;

Thursday, July 03, 2008

torn into pieces, 3:19 PM

i met Winny for dinner two days ago. you seemed taller because of the heels which doesnt count. thank you. =) andd.. i met My for pizza last night. well, you're stronger as ever. it surprised me how much we used to be very dependent to the bf and now i see the difference in your speech and behaviour. you're amazing. =) steady bopingping!

she said i cant have a credit card because of my love of spending.. =) which in my defense, i never mention that i want one even if i earn millions of bucks. i rather have debit cards. but, babe, you saw the digits in that uncle's account...? if i have that sum now, i break the bond STAT! hah. not that i do not like working but, i dont like the feeling of tied down here. i wish to be in Riyadh right now. so far, so peaceful and so at ease.

im game to discuss about love right now. well, i cant see the big picture of love at the moment. what the HELL is this love? how can love hurts and at the same time love cures...? why do people sacrifice so much for love when love never guarantees anything. last night, i was discussing with My which is better foundation or loose powder. she said, loose powder. it doesnt clog pores. 'but, it doesnt last.' i said. she smiled and said, 'nothing last, Ifa.'

love doesnt last too. when you're dead, what makes you think your spouse will not remarried..? i dont see love toward man and woman so great anymore. its more like, i love you because i want to have sex with you. does love merely equals to sex..? or love equals to money because your cpf money will be dispense to you soon? or you have hot body thats why i love you? or you're smart and i want my kids to be smart people thats why i love you? or you're beautiful thats why i love you? so if you grow old and ugly, i dont love you anymore? thus, where is the quality of love?

i watched a walk to remember last night for the second time. i still have tears rolling down the cheeks. that movie is what i refer to as true, loyal, pure, sincere love. two thumbs up for Nicholas Sparks. or, ever read, The Promise by Danielle Steel? that book have my best interest at heart all the time.

certainly, My and i discovered, we do not need a man to keep us either sane or alive. we are in search of pure loyal love not the kind where you can trade at the pasar malam. in fact, when we walked around, she said, 'this is man section, Ifa. we dont need to shop for men.' we laughed. how much we have passed shopping for man stage. afterall, i am an idiot when shopping for man. its either too small or not comfortable or he is cerewet. oh come on. i am small. my measurement for stuff are small too.

despite having some uncomfortable time of my own, im glad someone see the light in me for him to pick up his broken pieces. im getting better with this. hehe. i was telling Winny that if i have lots of money and i am not practising nursing, i am going to write a book on relationship. but of course. yes of course. i did not teach him to set a blog to curse his ex which i know i did and its not very nice and ive repent and apologised. enough said. in my defense again, the whole cause its not entirely on me. thank you. =)

dude, i hope to see you in more controlled emotions. bring her back in these two years time. i cant be guiding you when we are in a different continent. heh. bear in mind, my relationship is a failed one. sometimes, if you never fail, you never learn. if you're never separated, you wont know how it feels to miss someone. its not like, yeah i miss you but, when you come back, we are going to fight bigtime. its totally totally different. thus, my prayers are with you, always =)

can someone bring me back to work soon. my thoughts are running a little wild here. =)

i did my best and this is all i can do. =)

Winny: you are not vulnerable. your picking up period is quite fast.

Yazid: you have done this and that. you must believe that you are doing the right thing. when you realised that the path you have taken is a wrong one, make it right again. thats what life is about.

=)

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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