# iced;

Saturday, August 30, 2008

torn into pieces, 3:56 PM

Alhamdulilah i hasn't been angry at anyone at work and its picking up. the week have made me learn about myself. =) im serious.

the lethargy that i am going through is because i am going through the monthly phase. i had a quick conversation with Sufie at reception while waiting for my patient. 'kau asik penat je? apasal?' 'tak tahu. well, i think because of the usual thing. selalu kan, aku 'angin' to the max but, this time, penat and easily fall sick. i feel so weak. i hate to feel this way!'

but, come to think of it, i rather feel or be this way every month! no joke. let me feel this discomfort rather than having me snapping at people. i dont want to hurt people JUST because i am going through hormonal change. sometimes, we think we know ourself better than anyone when fact is, Allah SWT knows us better. it took me 3 months to learn why i was going through this 'lethargy phase' every month without fail.

being in Dr Alph theatre on a Friday always makes me happy. he is one surgeon that when i see, i am not stress and i am not afraid because i know he teaches me when he operate. i assisted his first case which was refixation over the bone on the little finger. he requested for a Hand Modular system which i have never used before. thus, i was alittle worried i connected the wrong drillbit or screwdriver and stuff like that. when doing fixation, we cant afford to go wrong like, 'opps sorry! wrong drillbit' or 'depth gauge is not tighten properly' especially when they have already drill the bone. therefore, i am always worried about that eventhough i am confident with the whole surgery.

so, first thing in the morning he came to the prep room and said, 'IFFFAA!' haha. 'yah yah. play with my name.' hehe. 'will you be here whole day or half day.' 'whole day. you know i feel that i assist hand surgery part time!' haha. even if he listed a wound debridement with abdominal flap for 4hrs 30mins, i dont mind. why? because i enjoy working with him.

in the midst of surgery, Sister came, 'Hi Alph. you know, Ifa never use a modular set before. so, can you teach her.' i was like alamak! rosak image! hahah. 'Sister, actually, we dont need the modular set, but, for her, we can still use it.' i was about to go YES! because they dont need it but, AIYAH! because we can still use it. sheesh!

by noon, i was grumpy because my phone drop flat on the floor. damn!! if you know how i take care of it, you know how my heartbroke! so, Dr Tim said, 'why so grumpy suddenly?' 'im paranoid because my phone drop. damn!' Dr Alph, 'just drop it some more.' and that would make me feel any better.' they laughed.

i met up with Rad and Mardia. the usual, we talk about nursing in NUH and in IMH. we talked about our dreams working in overseas where Rad suggested we work in Australia and we rent a place together. that is a very very good suggestion but, my heart fell for Riyadh. she listed the good points about working in Australia but, it still didnt click me at all at the moment. perhaps in 2 years time, i decided to work in Aussie instead. the career path is still very blurry for me. i cant decide on the long term planning for the career yet because i am still unsure with what i want. perhaps again, what i want and will always always always want is, i want to be happy. and by being happy, is not to know or to witness or see anything associated with people/environment/things that hurts me. so long as you're happy, i am happy for you too. =)

good day you all.

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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