# iced;

Thursday, August 14, 2008

torn into pieces, 10:07 PM

when i step into the theatre this morning, all i wanted to do was to discuss with the team about the flow of the cases for the day. good team work buddies. well done! 4 laparoscopic cholecystectomy in the morning and 3 colorectal cases in the afternoon run by the JUNIORS. weeee!! but, Janet still comes in and help us here and there.

the lap choles were S. Chang's cases so, you could guess the speed of the surgeries. soon, he will operate lap chole like TOP. he is TOOOO fast. every 15 minutes, gall bladder is out. operation is easy but, the preparation, setup and washing takes time. moreover, he is not someone who will wait for you. i can't be in his theatre every week or, i'll burn out fast! the worst is, we do not have enough sets especially when we have 3 theatres running lap chole.

but, we did it!! thank you guys and i am so sorry if i was demanding and impatient during surgery. he wont wait for me so, i had to push you all a little. so sorry about that.

sigh. there goes my varicose veins.

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its unfair isn't it when you are so in love with someone and it is taken or snatched away from you...? but, life goes on dear.. life goes on. i was asked again how i went through my breakup period. i went through it with no fear of tomorrow and Allah swt helped me. do you think i could handle this alone...? no and never will. when i was having too many problems with the relationship, i woke up with a heavy heart everyday. but, when its finally over, i never felt that way anymore. im glad. i love my heart more than to hurt it. you got to be strong.

have you gotten over it TOTALLY?

no. =) ive moved on but, i hasn't TOTALLY gotten over. but, i am ok and i am happy because my mindset alters.. i am happy if he is happy and thats all that matters. =) look dear friend, you dont have to be happy only when you're with him. you can be happy just being yourself. as for me, i dont want people to see me WEAK. thus, i stay strong.. even when i am not strong to face it, i pretend to be strong. =) just when Andrew's said, 'you're strong hur Sister (sejak bila jadi Sister pun tak tahu. hehe). what do you eat..?' you know, when he said that, i was like.... ermm. can you said that again! haha.

dear friend, you will past the phase and you will see the big picture that God have setup for you. and hey, you dont have to be physically there for one another because i feel it will be more meaningful if you remember him in your prayers. when you did that, you will feel how i feel and thats when you can tell yourself, you've reached to the point of acceptance.

nobody said its an easy and fast task to accomplish because, its not. on the other hand, nobody said it cannot be done. =)

so, good luck. i know you can do this. if you must know, i am a sensitive, emotional, egoistic, self centered person and i did it. so, you can do better because you're none of the above.

=)

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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