# iced;

Thursday, November 13, 2008

torn into pieces, 9:00 PM

i hope i made the right decision. at the moment, i have a mix of happiness and sadness. i understand that not everyone is interested to read about my career life which by all means exit the blog.

that particular morning, when i was told about this opportunity, Winny came asking, 'Ifa, did you heard about it? how?' i couldn't think of no other than my mother. when i told the gang that i need to call my mother first they laughed at me. yah yah yah. laugh all you want but, i really need to consult her. yah! call me the mummy's girl and i really dont care. =P you see, my mother never fail to pray for me and calms me down whenever i feel down about various issues. i feel secure whenever i get her approval. thats just it. dont ask anymore questions. =)

my Sister in charge is back to work after her annual leaves today and she must have heard. we had small conversation in between surgeries and had a long one after work. in her office, i just couldn't bear another minute when the conversation gets emotional. i feel so touched by the people at work who always encourage me.

i am doing this for my future and for some personal reasons. if it is approved, i'll be happy. if it is not, i dont mind the waiting. afterall sometimes 3/4 of your life is just about waiting. waiting for someone, waiting an increment, waiting for a promotion, waiting to die.

i can't imagine walking out of day surgery operating theatre with a fear of how life is going to be for me. despite the tough moment in dsot, i enjoy the friendship i had with my Malay gang, my racial harmony gang and of course everyone. i dont even know if i am ever going to scrub for my favourite surgeons and Professor anymore. the secrets of tomorrow sometimes scares me. the thought about leaving reminds me of how my colleagues help me to get over my breakup. i never felt i am going through this alone. THAT, i will never forget. of course to my favourite Mardia and the gang as well. how Sufie always tell me, 'sabar Ifa sabar. sabar itu separuh dari Iman kan. solat hajat kalau perlu.' sometimes, she even cry with me in the middle of conversation. or Winny, 'you know God will arrange all that for you.' or Sowmiya, 'take things at your own stride.' or Sharon who gave me a little poem she wrote on a piece of paper. or Riza who witness my tears all the time. or Angie who never gave up in match making me with whoever. of course to my nurse managers who never fail to support me.

i cannot imagine walking out of dsot.

if they approve, i am ok. if they dont, i am ok too.

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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