# iced;

Monday, December 15, 2008

torn into pieces, 8:33 PM

i asked around for this discomfort chest tightening i have been experiencing. it scares me when we discussed about young adult just drop dead due to the silent killer, myocardial infarction or some people who sleep and never wake up.

however, i dont present a candidate for MI which i hope, Insya'allah, i will never be. never ever!!

everything sum up to stress, anxious, worry to much, tired, overwork, unhealthy diet and lack of exercise.

i am not stress! not even hidden stress!!

i am anxious to the new life i am about to embark next year.

i am worry for the coming Sunday's exam.

i am tired these few weeks because the cases for the past weeks are terrible. however, its starting to mellow down now because its December, the holiday season.

i have been eating too much macD and KFC no doubt about that.

the last time i last jog is before Ramadhan.

i'll work on this. the people at work are so sweet. they said, 'lets do a 12 leads on you now.' ishh! tak payah2. buat susah2 je. i am not going to expose unnecessarily! hehe. perhaps, until i drop dead yeah perhaps perhaps..

Angie said, 'if this is how your current health status is, i suggest you pull off your decision to mot next year.' eh! cannot! i come this far already and i am not turning back unnecessarily.

with regards to not turning back, all i see in front is to reach the ultimate goal. Riyadh is the place. i hate to be where i am right now seeking help from people i badly want to avoid from. i feel so useless whenever i have to seek help or some comfort from someone i should file under 'ancient'! this has to do with dignity, pride and morale. in fact, i dont want to see this person ever again. ever! Oh God. bring this person away. so far away so that i know how blissful feels like. wipe this anger off me. let me come to terms with this. i am sure all these can be done and i am certain i can do this.

on a lighter note, hmm.. ive always like this person whom i always find him amazing. sometimes, too amazing. i am not afraid to tell people today that i like him. he, fits the bill. he is the person i think of if i am stuck in the desert island on my own. that when i see him or talk to him, my heart snap. he is the one Ifa, he is.

but...

he isn't mine..

he belongs to a fortunate lady whom i must say deserve him more than i do. when i got to know him few months back, i always listen to Ungu's hit, tercipta untukku. so, you whom i always call amazing.. you are amazing. you can amazed me in many ways. due to the impact you left on me, it will take more time before i started looking around again. =)

it hurts.

Be in good health first and foremost.. Weigh ermm at least a 40kg.. To do an adv diploma in nursing.. Be an excellent & dedicated perioperative nurse. I want to canoe & rock climbing someday.. To get married! Haha.. Not so soon still..

abby.
adee.
adi.
afdlin shauki.
azlina.
aznita.
azuwa.
belinda.
dani.
dila.
dina.
eileen.
farain.
farhana.
fauzie.
hasan.
hidayah.
huzaifah.
janna.
kak ayu.
kak azrina.
kak khatijah.
maliza.
mardia.
maria.
mastura.
mingyu.
mira.
nafisah.
neng.
nuraini.
sahara.
shafique.
shahida.
shu.
sufie.
sufian.
uma.
valerie.
winny.

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