i had a conversation with the new mummy about pregnancy and delivery. i was taken a back when she showed me her stomach, caesarean scar and stretch marks. she felt that the breasts start to sag too. Ishh. its definitely not now for me. not now. not now. not now. i would want to experience all that but, NOT NOW. sagging breasts, stretch marks, sagging stomach. oh my!
varicose veins make me half insane what more all of the above. however, she said whenever she look at her baby, all that means nothing. the pain, the heaviness, the sleepless nights.. so, i asked, 'how do you feel when you look at your husband then?' 'more pain.' hahaha. 'just kidding. he have been a supportive husband.' =) good to hear. she said, 'i want to see how you look like when you get pregnant. i wonder if you can walk as fast.' hehe. i can walk fast because i feel light.
afterall, it is not about 'when' but 'if'. =) Kak Siti said, 'eh! no pregnant2. belum kahwin. no pregnancy out of wedlock!' yes. Insya'allah. Abg Roslie selalu cakap, 'Ifa, kalau cerewet2 tak kahwin.' it is not about cerewet. this is about finding a suitable, RIGHT man for me. i am not the materalistic kind that expect a BMW or an African Twin or a drop dead gorgeous man because, i can have my own damn car. i just don't want to marry a doctor. aik! aku oncall, dia pun oncall jugak. most important, just don't hurt me anymore whoever you are.
a simple man who have dreams, who knows what he wants, who is responsible to his family and me, who is financially stable, who understands, who is religious, who can correct my wrong doings, whom i can look at everyday and who allows me to go to work. i don't want to be a home maker.
i told Farz, 'eh, kau kan yang nak kahwin bulan 4. selamat lah kau. aku lama lagi.' heheh. 'IFFFAA!'
hehehehhee.
it scares me a little. but, i am not that worried because of my current status. =)
