Professor is back! Winny is no longer in DSOT. it feels different. its like.. 'where is Winny?' 'MOT' Sowmiya is on hospitalisation leave. but of course i still have my Malay kakis. however, some people are just irreplaceable.
its good to see Prof back. while i was assisting Prof, i figure i will not be assisting Prof that frequent anymore. i kinda miss my training period with Prof. i assisted Prof with a broken heart. seriously. i was trying to juggle two things at a time. and yes! after much struggle, i made it. there, i was trying to endure every of Prof comments and here i am, trying to endure every broken pieces. nonetheless, thank you for your patient, Prof. Prof tau yang ajar how to hold an artery and how to mount a 7-o prolene. and andd, Prof taught me how to tie a bleeder too. sigh. from sarcastic comments to a good one and it stays until today. Alhamdulilah.
to a friend, wipe the tears off your cheeks. i am going through a hard time as well. he just can't be sensitive enough to care about his words for my ears to listen. my weak point is that no matter how bad he can treat me, i can still forgive him and i always hate myself for doing so. that's why my thoughts never fail to bring me across to middle east where i can be on my own to sail or float or die. why dig it when you know it is going to hurt you? so that you will be relief when situation is at your side and when it is not, you'll cry. does he care about all that? is your tears valuable to him? yeah, maybe in the past. but, its probably not anymore now.
i am not going to tell you that its already 2009 like how someone did. but, i am going to tell you to love yourself. you have lost so much weight already. you're not as cheerful anymore. take things at your own stride. you will continue to think about him for awhile now and it will continue for a year or so. if this would make you feel any better, i, personally felt so lost after a year. it surprised me. yes! after a year. a big challenge for me to 'handle' many down moments.
somehow, i believe in this statement. if he is yours, he will come back to you. but, of course this believe will never apply to my situation. it is too complex to even imagine.
just one more thing, NEVER hate him your whole heart like how i did. hehe. just hate him a bit so that you can move on. when the emotions is stable you will find that you are more forgiving. then again, do not let other's point of view brings you down. they can say all they want. you can also do all you want. be calm. you will be fine. all you need is to know what you are doing, your close ones knows what you are doing and is supportive. orang lain tak perlu tahu. =) especially him.
i hate to see you this way. you will be fine. everything is going to be okey.
don't cry cry lah. haiyoh you ah. belasah you then you know.
