i met Sufie for awhile after work to get some stuff. i was told of some missing feelings. hehhe..
be strong is the word i always tell myself when i miss day surgery. i know for myself that when i start thinking on my day surgery days, i will have the strong feeling to come back. i miss everyone especially, my Malay kakis. sometimes, i feel missing. something is not complete somewhere. in theaters, i am very close with Farz. so, right now, when i am here, it feels different not having to see people i used to see all the time.
well, whatever it is, life goes on. if i never do this now, i will never do it.
hey, if anyone must know, it isn't easy to let go something that have always been mine. :)
in theatre, the first person i see in the morning is a familiar stoned face. macam pernah aku kenal budak ni. so there you go..... MARDIA HAZWANIE. hahahhahahhaa. same black birken clogs. same adidas landyard. sibokk betul. hehe.
she was on night. so happen to be in EOT this morning.
i met a few surgeons who knows me. Matt asked, 'are you lost??' hahaa. Anthony, 'hey, you're here now.' Alph, 'was my prediction right?' Tim who was rushing, 'hi Ifa.' Anu, 'you're here now?'
i kinda miss plastics. now that i am in trauma team, it feels different. but, thats okey. another kind of exposure. im okey.
later part of the day, like yesterday, it is always happening in eot. before i left, a spine case is ongoing. when i look at how many instruments and how they prepare, i was speechless. Masya'allah. banyak nya instruments. there are so many things to prepare just for preparation let alone the surgery. i am looking at it and it and question myself, 'how am i gonna do this, babe...?'
spine cases, they have what they call it, 'king kong trolley'. hehe. with so many instruments around me in future, you'll never get to identify the scrub nurse. heh. the scrub nurse will be on the stool!
since, day 1 i enter, i am always amazed by how fast these mot staff work. the way they move. they assist. they talk. they walk. run from one theatre to another. they are so fast. i am not kidding you.
some day, when i pick up skills, Insya'allah, i'll be as fast too.
my perceptor asked, 'dik, kau ni dah kahwin ke belum.' 'belum lah kak.' 'bf ada tak?' 'takde.' 'kau jgn macam tu. kerja2. bf2.'
ishh! ever since i am in mot, i don't care about all that anymore. no man for the time being for me. i need to focus on these 2 months first. learn fast. learn more. i don't need a man in this period of time. for once, my mind is somewhere out from the usual thoughts. :)
Thank you Allah.
