i am glad that i went to class today. from my point of view, Ustaz Sayid Amin always reminds me of Izzad. kadang-kala, i see some similarity. in a glance, yes, he looks like him. the physique, the way he deliver his lectures, cara dia berinteraksi, cara dia senyum. Masya'allah.
sometimes, you will hear me saying, 'benci ah.' hehhe i got many sayings, 'benci datang dari lahir cinta kan?' 'tu dulu! jangan sebut-sebut lagi.' heheh
why i am glad is not because, i get to see Ust Sayid Amin because i don't even know he will be taking over Fiqh Da'wah module. neither could this me another form of 'pelepasan rindu'. i was very much interested with the discussion in class.
Beliau tanya, 'berapa peratus akan awak beri pada diri sendiri tentang keislaman awak?'
the first thing that got into my mind was, 'soalan apa ni? susahnya nak menilai.' however, discussion went on. i could only think of 20% for myself. aku ni dah lah belum kahwin. dah lah belum membahagiakan orang tua. aku ni banyak sangat kekurangan. mungkin kurang daripada 20%. Masya'allah. suddenly, i am so frighten. so frighten to face Allah SWT dengan amalan yang sangat sedikit ini.
we turned the question to Ust. he claimed to be about 40%. he looked down and said, 'saya tak kenal siapa jiran saya. samada dia dah makan ke belum. saya teringatkan umat Islam yang berada di Palestine yang hidup di dalam ketakutan setiap hari. anak-anak kecil dibunuh. sedangkan apabila saya bersuka-ria, mereka sentiasa dalam ketakutan.....'
i feel my eyes watery. aku ni bab Palestine ada sikit cengeng. sensitive issue. Ust pun macam nak nangis. but, one of us, tried to control the situation by passing a comforting comment.
if there was a mission from Singapore who are going to Palestine, memang aku nak pergi. sometimes, when i practically have nothing to do, i can surf the net on Islam, Palestine, West Bank and Gaza Strip all day. the ongoing war and the aftermath. i truly felt for the ummat al mu'minin in Palestine.
doa is the key to success. when we do not know who to turn to, doa is the best solution.
i had a fruitful day.
suddenly, i feel so small. unknown. unimportant. full of uncertainty.
i make out one more criteria for the soulmate. a must to fulfill. he must membahagiakan orang tuanya (kalau masih ada) sebelum kahwin. the word 'membahagiakan' is umum. pandai2, menilai maksudnya.
life is full of sacrifices.
i always asked myself this.. 'siapalah diriku di pandanganMu.'
